Friday, March 19, 2010

Superpowers in marriage

This morning, I read a question that asked me what superpower I'd like to have in marriage.

Hmmmm ... time travel comes to mind.  Being able to see into our future life, 10, 20, 50 years down the road seems like it would be neat, but then again, it takes the fun and excitement out of growing together.  I do love surprises, and I'm sure those surprises will be what brings me and Mark closer together through the years.

Sometimes telepathy sounds like it would be beneficial to have.  There are plenty of times when I can't tell what Mark's thinking.  He's not as vocal about his feelings as I can be, but then again, he's also not as opinionated as I can be.  If I could read his thoughts, though, I think it would take the fun out of conversation.  What point would there be in conversing much at all?  Sounds kind of boring -- just sitting there and putting a few words out there every now and then and just hearing his reaction without him saying a thing.  Also, because we're not perfect humans, it's not so easy to control our thoughts.  We all know they whirl around by themselves, thinking good and bad things.  That's why I like to practice using what I like to call a filter.  Thinking before you speak.  I'm sure if I could read Mark's thoughts, we'd argue a lot more because he wouldn't have the chance to think about what he wanted to say before speaking, putting together his thoughts eloquently.  Also, sometimes things just don't need to be said -- if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  That would pretty much go out the window if I could read his thoughts.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Mark has negative thoughts all of the time.  I just think we'd both be happier if he (and I both) has the ability to use filters to be purposeful and deliberate in conversation. 

I think the superpower I'd like to have in marriage would be the ability to be loving at all times.  Even though it's something for which we all strive, we fail more times than we can count.  If I could consistently be patient, kind, gentle, caring, loving, selfless, humble and understanding effortlessly, that would be cool.  Mark would think so, too, I think.

Since I doubt I'll be bestowed with any superpowers in the near future, I guess I'll continue to work toward the one I'd desire and try to earn it on my own.  That's the point, isn't it?

January 2010, Keystone, CO trip

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