The freedoms of marriage

Several years back when I was single, I had been single for about two years and had gotten comfortable with my relationship status and the lifestyle that came with it.  I remember even telling a friend of mine that I almost didn't want to be in a committed relationship at that time because I liked doing what I wanted to do it, when I wanted to do it and how I wanted to do it.  There was no one else compromising those desires or questioning me.  The freedom was nice!

Then after being single for a while, I met Mark.  I was instantly attracted to him, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  After two months of getting to know him and forming a friendship with him, the fear of losing the freedom of my singleness to being a relationship went out the door.  We openly talked about what kind of relationship we were looking for, and being with Mark was something I greatly desired.

Now, four years later, we're husband and wife, and I've discovered that being in a relationship has its own freedoms.  It's not like once you commit to being with someone, your freedoms are taken away and you're yoked to someone's say-so for the rest of your life.

The freedoms of marriage include the ability to love someone, freely and unreservedly.  The freedom to truly experience what it means to put someone else above yourself and give every part of yourself to another person.  Yes, you can experience love as a single person, as a family member, but there's always a part of yourself that you're protecting.  As a spouse, there is nothing that should be held back from your husband or wife.  Everything is given to them and you're left very vulnerable, trusting that what you give to them will be loved with no judgment.  It's exhilarating to let go!  To not have to hide something in fear of disapproval and be all that you are is beautiful.  It's life-giving.

It also includes the freedom to give life to someone else.  Having a child together in the most natural and intended way by giving your fertility to your spouse for God to do with it whatever He pleases is like nothing else.

There has never been a point when I've been with Mark, both unmarried and married, when I've never felt free to do what I want.  I know that if I really wanted to do something fruitful, Mark would support me.  I think it's safe to say he feels the same about me.  We try to empower one another and have not lost our individuality as a married couple.  The way we spend time with those outside of our relationship may be different but only as a result of meshing two lives and keeping our marriage a priority in order to have a strong and healthy marriage.  It's something we've both agreed upon and want to do for ourselves.  Something we've happily and consciously chosen for our lives.

Freedom is well and alive in my life, and I find it refreshing to reflect upon and remember!

Cancun, Mexico trip, Thanksgiving weekend 2009