Christian Wives, Spouses Have Model in St. Bridget [2010-10-27]

I love this quote from the pope: "May the Spirit of the Lord give rise to the sanctity of Christian spouses, to show the world the beauty of marriage lived according to the values of the Gospel: love, tenderness, mutual help, fecundity in generating and educating children, openness and solidarity to the world, participation in the life of the Church."

Mark and I visited San Brigida in Italy this summer and saw the cave [St. Bridget] lived in for something like five years in the 10th century. Beautiful part of Italy!

Christian Wives, Spouses Have Model in St. Bridget [2010-10-27]: "Pope Reflects on Life of Co-Patroness of Europe"

Surrounding yourself with uplifting, encouraging couples

As a married couple, I've found it's so important to surround ourselves with other uplifting, encouraging couples as often as we can.  I was just talking to some friends last night about how important I think it is to surround ourselves as individuals with uplifting, encouraging people who challenge us to be better people, who help us grow in holiness.  I don't see why it would be any different as a couple to not do the same.

I understand the need for a good balance.  It's not as if we'll desert our dear friends who are single or religious (i.e. priests); I just think that, especially as a newlyweds, Mark and I have a lot to learn about what it means to be good and loving spouses and it would do us good to see how other healthy couples have built a life together.

We are very blessed to already have several loving couples in our lives, which makes this idea easy to practice.  One of our favorite things to do is have friends over for dinner and spend some time catching up and hearing about what's going on in their lives, really focusing on them.  I dearly love small groups of friends over large groups, as I feel I can offer my full attention to them.

Our church has a ministry for couples that are in their first five years of marriage.  Part of this ministry is that all of the women and all of the men, separately, get together monthly and build each up other up as husbands and wives.  It's a great time for group accountability in learning how to live out our vocation.

As long as Mark and I remember that there will always be something to learn about being better spouses and are open to new ideas or ways of doing things, I think we'll be on the right track.

My 27th birthday, April 2008

Things every new wife needs

1. Patience
2. Basic cooking skills
3. Earplugs
4. Lingerie
5. 3 good cookbooks
6. Ring holder
7. "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie O'Martian
8. Bible -- specifically, a Bible for couples
9. 4 - 12 nice place settings
10. Her own bathroom sink

 March 2008, sunset at Iguana Grill in Austin

St. Valentine, pray for us. St. Monica, pray for me.

A patron saint is one who has been assigned by a venerable tradition, or chosen by election, as a special intercessor with God and the proper advocate of a particular cause and is honored with a special form of religious observance.  I was aware that St. Valentine is the patron saint of marriages, but I discovered this morning that St. Monica, mother of the great St. Augustine, is the patron saint of wives. 

St. Valentine also happens to be Mark's confirmation / patron saint he chose for himself upon receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation while he was in high school.  Everyone has heard of this saint because of the February holiday, but many may not know the actual story of St. Valentine's life or why he is a saint as declared by the Church.  According to Catholic Online, St. Valentine was martyred around 270 by the Roman Emperor Claudius II Gothicus because he continued to marry young couples even though Claudius forbade it. Apparently Claudius thought that married soldiers weren't as good as single soldiers. 

Almost all we know about St. Monica (~322 - 387) is from the writings of St. Augustine.  According to AmericanCatholic.org, "the circumstances of St. Monica’s life could have made her a nagging wife, a bitter daughter-in-law and a despairing parent, yet she did not give way to any of these temptations. Although she was a Christian, her parents gave her in marriage to a pagan, Patricius, who lived in her hometown of Tagaste in North Africa. Patricius had some redeeming features, but he had a violent temper and was licentious. Monica also had to bear with a cantankerous mother-in-law who lived in her home. Patricius criticized his wife because of her charity and piety but always respected her. Monica’s prayers and example finally won her husband and mother-in-law to Christianity. Her husband died in 371, one year after his baptism."

Married couples and wives are blessed to have these two fabulous holy people intercessing for us, if we ask them to.  I have personally found it inspiring to read the biographies of saints to learn from them as faulted human beings like myself as we stumble on the path to holiness.  It would do me well, therefore, to read more about St. Monica in being a loving, patient, gentle and prayerful wife.  Any good readings on her about which anyone knows?

We are all called to be saints, and I often pray for Mark and I to be given the grace to become the saints to which we were called to become.  I wonder which cause(s) we could be patron saints of one day?  If you could choose your cause(s), of what would you be the patron saint?  Deep question!  Reflection on it might help you to steer your direction or find your purpose in life.  Hmmm ...

St. Valentine, pray for us!  St. Monica, pray for me!

Valentine's Day 2010

Happy new year!

Woo, it's 2010!  So, I guess we pronounce it, "Twenty ten," right?  Not "Two Thousand Ten?"  What will we refer to as the last nine years -- the "Two thousands?"  The "0's?"  Weird!

This weekend, I plan to reflect on what my new year's resolutions will be.  Yes, that is resolution with an "s" at the end.  I hope to make four goals: one personal, one professional, one spiritual and one for our marriage.  There are countless ways I can learn to be a better wife, and I have so many beautiful role models from whom to learn. 

Today, Catholics celebrate the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, and Msgr. Mike Sis at our home parish focused his homily today on how reflective and prayerful Mary was during her life here on Earth.  Contemplation in our marriage would be a good thing -- being purposeful in our actions and decisions and savoring all the events that we now call our life together.  Having less rigid expectations is something I discussed several posts ago; maybe I could make a resolution toward that idea.  Of course there are the obvious ones -- being more patient, less stubborn (yes, I know that one's a special challenge for me), more selfless, more charitable, etc. 

I will have to be quiet with God and see where it is He wants me to focus my efforts this year.  Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!

Theme: Wife-hood

It all started with a Facebook status post ...

"Jennifer ... would like to start a blog but wants it to have a purpose. What do you think I could focus on that would be interesting? Young adult ministry? The adventures of being a new wife and setting up home? Ministry in general? Etc.?"

Most everyone who responded agreed that a theme on the ministry of being a wife, home life and setting up home was what they wanted to read.

I'm excited about the different directions in which I can take a blog themed on the topic of being a newlywed, its trials and tribulations, adventures and inspirations! So I won't run out of topics for a while, I've made up myself a little list of the different posts I can make. As I mentioned before, I appreciate blogs that have a purpose, so I hope this medium achieves that and isn't just a group of ramblings. Feel free to send me topic suggestions!

So, here we go ...