Thursday, July 1, 2010

Picking battles

I'll admit it -- I can sometimes be too sensitive.  I'd like to say I've gotten better over the years, but in all honesty, I'm not sure there's been a noticeable improvement, at least to others.

I think choosing your battles is a fine art one has to master.  It's difficult to let some things roll off your back, but I know that, in all reality, Mark loves me for who I am and never wants to hurt me.  I know he challenges me to become a better person and some things he says or does don't even mean the same thing they may mean to me.  I have to recognize we've grown up in two different worlds and that he's not out to get me. 

Marriage is about give and take.  Sometimes I take more, sometimes I give more.  Sometimes I look things over and ignore them, sometimes I let the worst of my emotions rope me in and get upset about the tiniest detail, sometimes I act like a grown up and address a concern in a responsible, mature way.  I think the latter solution is one that involves the first one I mentioned -- sometimes acting like a grown up means ignoring something if it's not going to hurt anyone, i.e. leaving out two pairs of shoes in the living room.  Yes, I enjoy a clean, clutter-free home, but is it worth it to cause an evening of misery for our family if I feel the need to blow up over two pairs of shoes being out in the man's own home?  I pat myself on the back when I'm able to recognize that our home, or whatever it is, is half Mark's, so he's entitled to choose how he wants to take care of it.  Again, sometimes he gives a little, sometimes he takes a little, too; there's a balance we must find.

We were having dinner with Opa and Oma the other day, and, again, I left inspired by their marriage, their relationship.  It really leaves you something to think about when you watch these two interact.  I've known them now for three years (?), and I've definitely noticed how loving and accepting the two are of each other.  It's a rare occasion to see the two disagree or correct each other, at least in front of others.  They are supportive of one another and don't get upset over the little things -- ever.  They have certainly mastered the art of picking battles. 

I think it's an important key to a happy marriage and one I hope to noticeably improve in our marriage.  Hmmm, I hear a 2011 resolution?  Ha, I won't wait that long to work on it ... ;-)

Cancun trip, Thanksgiving 2009

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