Friday, June 4, 2010

To love, the decision

This morning as I was driving to work, I was listening to a morning radio show that was discussing whether the co-hosts thought love was a decision.  I frustratedly listened to the one girl's poor defense that love is a decision, but her lack of words and reason left her defeated in the conversation.  I flipped the station in annoyance.

One reason marriage is so dishonored in society is because of pop culture illustrating love as an emotion.  Lust is an emotion.  Infatuation is an emotion.  Love is a conscience decision.

How does one settle this argument?  Define what we mean by the term "love."  What I term as the word is "putting the needs of others above yourself."  Doesn't sound like an emotion to me.  That is an action, a purposeful intention one makes.  A decision. 

Falling in love simply means falling into infatuation, attraction, that ooey-gooey feeling we get when our emotions get high and we get butterflies in our stomach just by looking at or being around someone.

We're all called to love everyone we meet -- put everyone's needs above those of ourselves.  I know, I'm not proclaiming to be any good at it, but it is everyone's higher purpose and for what we should all strive in the end.

Mark sometimes kids, saying he loves me most of the time.  Then I bring up to him that he probably likes me most of the time, but he chooses to love me at all times.  Even when he wants to pull his hair out with me, he still loves me.  He self-proclaimedly made that commitment and promise the morning he proposed.  He then usually agrees. :)  If there ever were to be a time that he actually doesn't love me, we would have a serious problem.  That would mean he is consciously choosing to not love me, to not put my needs above his own, to choose himself first, to not be committed to us, and our marriage would be on a very dangerous path. 

When you're upset with your family, you still love them.  If you're in healthy relationships, you would still do anything for them.  That is love.  Love isn't easy.  With anyone.  But it's a decision we all make with those whom are important.  In good times and in bad.

Luc: I loved my mother.
Kate: No, everybody loves their mother. Even people who hate their mothers love their mothers.

~ "French Kiss" the movie

Great movie!

Thanksgiving 2009, Cancun, Mexico

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure I'm dating myself with this comment, but there is a Christian singer named Don Francisco who actually wrote a song about this that has a line "love is not a feeling it's an act of your will." Good post and a reminder.


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