Monday, May 24, 2010

Why everyone, regardless of vocation, should care about the state of marriage in society

"While marriage is a special blessing for Christians because of the grace of Christ, marriage is also a natural blessing and gift for everyone in all times and cultures. It is a source of blessing to the couple, to their families and to society and includes the wondrous gift of co-creating human life. Indeed, as Pope John Paul II never tired of reminding us, the future of humanity depends on marriage and the family. It is just such a conviction that has led us, the Catholic bishops of the United States, to write this pastoral letter. "
~ "Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan," U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops

What a powerful statement for all of society -- "...the future of humanity depends on marriage and the family."  What I love most about this statement is the implication that it isn't only married couples who should care about the state of marriage and how it affects society; everyone -- single, married and religious persons -- should pay attention to the state of marriage.  If we all don't, it's detrimental to the future of humanity and how this world will evolve.  It's that important!

Many of us exist because of marriage.  Think about that.  Our very existence has depended upon this most holy sacrament and union.

Without marriage, without healthy marriages, where else does our society have to go other than awry?  It is a scary and unstable feeling to watch how the sanctity of marriage has become more and more diminished as I've grown up.  Popular culture teaches us to choose convenience over commitment, immediate pleasure over prayerful discernment, lust over love.

One of my favorite Scripture verses is, "Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" (Romans 12:2).  That statement has applied to anyone who has ever lived as we all have and will be challenged by spiritual warfare.  The state of marriage in our society deserves no less attention.

Why should unmarried persons care?  Because their mothers and fathers, friends and family, potential future spouses are all living or will be living it.  The preservation of their own families from which they come, God-willing, depends on it.  As one of the three vocations, the discernment of being called to married life is one of the most important decisions a person will ever make.  The commitment to it is even more important.

Married and unmarried persons can help to preserve the sanctity of marriage by supporting men and women in their vocation of marriage, especially in difficult times.  This means helping keep our friends accountable in being a good and holy wife or husband, praying for them, ministering to them during times of illness or when they need extra help, encouraging them to seek spiritual direction or counseling during times of struggle as well as urging them to remember to take time for one another, prioritize one another (even over children) and go on dates.  Help to make this easy for them by offering to babysit or occasionally setting up something for them.  Double date. 

Married and unmarried persons can also help to preserve the sanctity of marriage by having the courage to spread the Good News about marriage when given the opportunity, especially on issues of cohabitation, divorce, denial or abandonment of a married couple’s responsibility to be open to children and the individualistic mentality that sees marriage as a mostly private matter and not so related to the common good.

Heavenly Father, through the intercession of the Holy Family, help us treasure the gift of marriage that reflects the love of Christ for the Church, where the self-giving love of husband and wife unites them more perfectly and cooperates in your plan for new life created in your image. Help us support men and women in their vocation of marriage, especially in difficult times when they join their sufferings to the Cross. Help us uphold the institution of marriage in our society as the place where love is nurtured and family life begins. Help us acknowledge that our future depends on this love and on your providential care for us.  Amen.  


Cousin's wedding, April 2008

2 comments:

  1. "Popular culture teaches us to choose convenience over commitment, immediate pleasure over prayerful discernment, lust over love."

    Very true.

    "It is a scary and unstable feeling to watch how the sanctity of marriage has become more and more diminished as I've grown up."

    Do you think that is true, though? Divorce rates peaked in the early 80s and have come down slightly. Things could be a lot better, but I don't think they are getting worse.

    There is also the question of same-sex marriage. As an employee of the church, I am sure you oppose it (or at least can't say you support it). But I think it is inevitable. It's a generational thing, with younger people increasingly in favor.

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  2. Thanks for your thoughts! I was actually pretty surprised no one had said anything yet on such a controversial popular culture topic.

    I didn't know that about the divorce rate, so that's interesting. I guess as I've grown up, I've paid more attention to it, especially as it's affected my life.

    I do not support same-sex marriage. I do not judge those, however, who do support it or participate in it, as I have friends and family who either are in support of or are involved in same-sex unions. Whether the issue seems "inevitable" doesn't prevent me from hoping or trying to protect what I believe is the sanctity of marriage. Am I in anyone's face about it? No. But if you ask me my beliefs, I'll tell you. I won't hide from them, and I'll continue to do what I can to promote a culture of life around me.

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